Òwe on Enmity, Quarrel and Reconciliation
Sourced Yorùbá proverbs on what starts and escalates a quarrel, how an enemy is handled, and the limits of grudge and revenge.
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Sourced Yorùbá proverbs on what starts and escalates a quarrel, how an enemy is handled, and the limits of grudge and revenge.
This file collects Yorùbá proverbs about ìjà, the quarrel, and ọ̀tá, the enemy: what provokes conflict, how a person is expected to carry themselves in the presence of a rival or a detractor, and the narrow space Yorùbá proverb wisdom leaves for revenge once a matter has become an open grudge. Enmity in this material is rarely abstract. It is a named social fact with its own etiquette: an enemy is watched rather than argued with, a detractor is walked past rather than answered, and a quarrel already underway is treated as a state in which ordinary courtesies, including deference to age, stop applying.
Unlike family, community and friendship, quarrel and enmity have no single dedicated section in Oyekan Owomoyela's Yoruba Proverbs. The proverbs below are gathered from across the book, most from "the good person" parts on caution and perspicaciousness, from "human nature," and from the closing "truisms," which is itself evidence that Yorùbá speakers reached for this material in a wide range of settings rather than treating conflict as a single bounded topic.
All entries below are drawn from Oyekan Owomoyela, Yoruba Proverbs (University of Nebraska Press, 2005), the standard 5,235-proverb collection . None come from the book's digitised excerpt at yoruba.unl.edu, since that excerpt covers only Part One's six sections and this file draws more widely than that, including from "human nature" and the closing "truisms" section, which are not digitised there.
Because this material is scattered rather than concentrated in one section, the compiler located candidates by keyword search across a full-text extraction of the printed book, then verified every candidate by reading a page image rendered directly from the book's PDF at 200dpi. This second step is necessary because the specific digital copy of the book available to the compiler has a font-encoding defect in its extracted text layer: the book's embedded typeface used custom glyph composition for Yorùbá tone marks, which plain text extraction fails to recover reliably, in the worst cases dropping a whole letter rather than only an accent. Reading the rendered page image bypasses that defect. Every Yorùbá text, English translation and bracketed usage note below was transcribed directly from a page image this way, so the tone marking is exactly as printed in the 2005 edition .
The literal line in each record is by the compiler of this corpus, working from Owomoyela's printed Yorùbá. The used when line follows his own bracketed usage note, which the book supplies immediately after each translation in place of a separate usage annotation.
Given how thinly this material is spread across the book (a keyword search for the Yorùbá words for quarrel and enemy turned up no page with more than two relevant hits), this file is shorter than the corpus's usual target range. Cutting to an honestly sourced set is preferred here to padding with borderline material or proverbs already published elsewhere in this corpus.
Literal: A-ró-bá-sá one-who-flees-at-the-sight-of-a-king ò ṣojo is-not a-coward.
Idiomatic: He-who-flees-on-seeing-the-king is no coward. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Withdrawing from a confrontation with someone far more powerful is prudence, not cowardice.
Used when: Owomoyela's own gloss: one's safest course is to steer clear of those in authority .
Notes: The compressed nominal A-ró-bá-sá, built from a whole clause turned into a subject, names the person who runs rather than the act of running, a construction this corpus notes repeatedly in files 10 and 11. The proverb refuses the usual social judgment that fleeing is shameful, on the specific ground that the party fled from is a king.
Literal: Kìtì ò mọ́là sudden-pouncing does-not capture greatness ká ṣisẹ́ bí ẹrú that-one work like a-slave ò da nǹkan does-not amount-to anything.
Idiomatic: Sudden pouncing does not capture greatness; working like a slave does not ensure anything. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Neither a sudden aggressive move nor sheer effort guarantees a decisive win over a rival or an obstacle.
Used when: Owomoyela's own gloss: one does not guarantee greatness for oneself by slaving .
Notes: The two clauses pair opposite strategies, the ambush and the grind, and reject both, which marks the proverb as counsel against any single tactic for overcoming a rival or a difficulty.
Literal: Kòkòrò tó jẹfó the-insect that eats-the-vegetable járe ẹ̀fó wins-the-case-over the-vegetable ìwọ̀n léwéko ńdára mọ́ it-is-moderation that leaves-plants attractive.
Idiomatic: The insect that eats the vegetable wins the case against the vegetable; leaves should observe moderation in their attractiveness. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: A person who tempts trouble toward themselves bears some of the responsibility for what follows, even though the aggressor is still at fault.
Used when: Owomoyela's own gloss: a person enticed to a crime is not as guilty as the person who did the enticing .
Notes: The proverb stages a mock legal case, insect against vegetable, and awards the win to the aggressor while still naming the vegetable's excess as a contributing cause, which keeps the proverb from being either a clean acquittal or a clean conviction.
Literal: Kùkùté kan one stump kì í fọ́ni lẹ́po léèmejì does-not break-one's oil-pot twice.
Idiomatic: No one stump can break one's oil pot twice. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Once you have been hurt a particular way by a particular cause, you are expected to have learned to avoid it happening again.
Used when: Owomoyela's own gloss: the same disaster should not befall a person twice; a person usually learns from experience .
Notes: The proverb assumes the injury itself is instructive, and repeating it is read as a failure of the injured party's own vigilance rather than simple bad luck, which is a harder standard than sympathy alone would set.
Literal: Tè mí step-on me ǹtè ọ́ I-will-step-on you layé gbà is-what life accepts.
Idiomatic: Step on me and I will step on you is what life takes. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Reciprocal retaliation is treated as the ordinary mechanism of social life, not an exception to it.
Used when: Owomoyela's own gloss: in life we must act toward others as they act toward us .
Notes: The proverb states retaliation as description rather than instruction, a plain account of how conflict actually propagates rather than a command to propagate it, which distinguishes it from the entries below that counsel restraint.
Literal: Tijú fún mi show-decorum for me kí ntijú fún ọ that-I show-decorum for you ẹni tó tijú fúnni whoever shows-decorum for-one là ńtijú fún is-whom one shows-decorum for.
Idiomatic: Behave with decorum toward me, and I will behave with decorum toward you; only those who approach one with decorum earn decorum in return. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Civil treatment is conditional and reciprocal, not a courtesy owed unconditionally.
Used when: Owomoyela's own gloss: act toward people the way you would like them to act toward you .
Notes: Set beside entry 5, this proverb states the same reciprocity principle in its constructive register, decorum returned for decorum, where entry 5 states it in its destructive register, injury returned for injury; Owomoyela's own placement of the two together in his text argues that Yorùbá speakers treated them as a single principle applied to opposite cases rather than as two different rules.
Literal: Eégún dẹ̀bi the-masquerader judges guilty kò ṣéé gbá lójú it-is-not-possible to-slap in-face.
Idiomatic: The masquerader judges one guilty, and yet one dares not slap him. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Against certain figures or institutions, there is no direct recourse even when the verdict feels unjust.
Used when: Owomoyela's own gloss: against some people one has no recourse .
Notes: Owomoyela's own footnote explains that eégún, the masquerader, is treated as the embodiment of an ancestral spirit and is sacrosanct on that basis, which is the specific religious fact that makes the proverb's claim literal rather than merely figurative . It sits beside the proverbs on kings and chiefs in file 18 as a further instance of an authority a quarrel cannot be brought against on equal terms.
Literal: Egbinrin òtè plots like-wild-vegetables à ńpakan one eliminates-one òkan ńhù another sprouts.
Idiomatic: Plots like wild vegetables: one eliminates one, and another sprouts. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Some hostile schemes or grudges are so persistent that removing one instance does nothing to stop the next.
Used when: Owomoyela's own gloss: some problems are so resistant that they are virtually impossible to resolve .
Notes: The comparison to a weed is exact rather than decorative: wild vegetables in Yorùbá farming are a real, recurring nuisance that regrows from the root, and the proverb borrows that specific botanical persistence to describe a plot or an enmity that keeps renewing itself.
Literal: Eji wéré-wéré a-light rain ní ńlé ọmọ wọlé is-what chases child indoors àgbàrá ọjọ́ ńlá the-torrent of-a-great-day ní ńmi ọ̀gòrò títì lẹsẹ̀ is-what shakes the-raffia-palm down-to its-root.
Idiomatic: It is a light rain that chases a child indoors; it is a raging torrent that shakes the raffia palm to its roots. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Every person, however strong, has some adversary or misfortune scaled exactly to overcome them.
Used when: Owomoyela's own gloss: every person, however lowly or mighty, has his or her nemesis .
Notes: The proverb pairs a small threat against a small target, a child and a light rain, with a large threat against a large target, a raffia palm and a torrent, which is the whole argument: scale is relative to the target, not absolute, so no one is above having a nemesis fitted to them.
Literal: A rìn fàà lójú akégàn one strolls unhurried before-the-eyes-of a-detractor a yan kàṣà lójú abúni one struts proudly before-the-eyes-of a-slanderer abúni ò ní okòó nílé the-slanderer has-not twenty-cowries at-home.
Idiomatic: One strolls nonchalantly before a detractor; one struts proudly before a slanderer; the slanderer has not 20 cowries at home. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: A person of no real standing does not deserve the dignity of a defensive reaction.
Used when: Owomoyela's own gloss: one need not pay a worthless detractor any mind .
Notes: The proverb answers the slanderer with bodily display, an unhurried walk, a proud strut, rather than with speech, which is itself the point: contempt is expressed by refusing to treat the detractor as worth arguing with.
Literal: A ṣe ohun gbogbo tán one has-done thing everything finished ti ẹlẹ́nu ló kù that-of the-mouth-owner is-what remains.
Idiomatic: We have done all we can do; what detractors will say is another matter. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: A person's responsibility ends at their own conduct; what critics say afterward is beyond anyone's control.
Used when: Owomoyela's own gloss: even after doing one's best, one cannot control what critics will say .
Notes: Ẹlẹ́nu, literally the mouth-owner, is Owomoyela's own term for the detractor here, naming the critic by the organ doing the damage rather than by any claim to judgment, which keeps the proverb's contempt for the criticism implicit in the word choice itself.
Literal: Abanilórí-ìjẹ́ one-who-would-deface-another's-head ilé-e rẹ̀ ní ǹtií mú abẹ wá his-own-house is-where-he brings the-razor from.
Idiomatic: He who will deface one's head brings his razor from his own house. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Someone determined to attack you comes prepared with their own means to do it; the harm originates entirely from them.
Used when: Owomoyela's own gloss, continued onto the following page: detractors do not need provocation to act against a person, since they supply their own reason and their own instrument .
Notes: The compressed nominal Abanilórí-ìjẹ́, naming the detractor by the specific injurious act rather than by a general term for enemy, is the same construction this corpus notes in files 10, 11 and 14; bringing the razor "from his own house" underlines that the aggression is self-supplied rather than provoked.
Literal: A-róba-má-sàá he-who-never-runs-from-the-king pàdé a-róba-má-yà meets he-who-never-makes-way-for-the-king pékí ko pékí trouble upon trouble.
Idiomatic: He-who-never-runs-from-the-king meets him-who-never-makes-way-for-the-king; trouble comes face to face with trouble. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: When two equally unyielding people collide, the result is a conflict neither will back down from.
Used when: Owomoyela's own gloss: when two obstinate people meet, trouble is in the offing .
Notes: Both compressed nominals build their identity out of a refusal, not-running and not-yielding, so the two figures are defined purely by their obstinacy before the sentence ever puts them in the same room together, which makes the collision feel inevitable rather than incidental.
Literal: A-rí-jẹ́-níjà one-who-profits-from-quarrels ò níṣe míràn has-no other pursuit àfi ìjà except quarrelling.
Idiomatic: The person who profits from quarrels has no other pursuit than quarrelling. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Someone who has learned to benefit from conflict will keep generating it rather than seek peace.
Used when: Owomoyela's own gloss: it is most difficult to wean people from their bad habits .
Notes: The proverb identifies the quarrelsome person by the same compressed-nominal device as entry 15, naming them by what they extract from conflict rather than by a character trait, which frames quarrelling as a livelihood rather than a temperament.
Literal: Wíwò téwúrẹ́ the-look of-the-goat ǹwo alápatà watches the-butcher bíi kó kú as-though he-should die orí ẹni ni ò pani one's-own-head is-what does-not-kill-one.
Idiomatic: The look the goat gives the butcher wishes death for the latter; only one's head does not deliver one to death. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Those disadvantaged by your position may wish you harm, but personal destiny, not their hostility, determines whether that harm actually reaches you.
Used when: Owomoyela's own gloss: those adversely affected by one's lawful duties may hate one, but one's own head, personal destiny, will protect one from their machinations .
Notes: Orí, the head, is the seat of personal destiny in Yorùbá thought, discussed at more length elsewhere in this corpus; this proverb pairs directly with the next entry, which Owomoyela prints immediately after as a variant making the identical claim from the enemy's side rather than the victim's.
Literal: Wíwò tí a ǹwàparò the-way one eyes a-partridge bíi ká fi dálá as-though one-would with-it make okro-stew orí eye ni ò peyẹ the-bird's-own-head is-what does-not-deliver-the-bird-to-death.
Idiomatic: The way one eyes a partridge betrays a desire to cook it in okro stew; only the bird's head says no to death. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: An enemy's visible desire for your ruin is not the same as the power to bring it about; that power rests with your own destiny.
Used when: Owomoyela's own gloss: one's enemies look at one with death in their eyes, but one's destiny says no to their desires .
Notes: Read together, entries 18 and 19 give the corpus's clearest statement that Yorùbá proverb wisdom locates real protection from an enemy's malice in orí, personal destiny, rather than in the enemy's restraint or in the victim's own vigilance, which qualifies the more tactical caution-based proverbs collected above.
Two observations specific to this theme.
The proverbs are split almost evenly between tactics and theology. Entries 1 through 4 and 10 through 12 are practical: how to walk past a detractor, how not to provoke a stronger adversary, how not to repeat an old mistake. Entries 15 and 16 step outside that register entirely and locate the real defense against an enemy in orí, personal destiny, not in anything the threatened person does. The corpus does not resolve this into one theory of how a person survives enmity; it holds a tactical account and a fatalistic one side by side, which this corpus's other files on Yorùbá proverb material have already noted is the ordinary condition of the genre.
Quarrel suspends ordinary rules rather than breaking them permanently. This corpus's file 14 on elders records, from that theme's side, the proverb that a quarrel does not know who is the elder; entry 5 here, that reciprocal injury is simply what life takes, makes the same claim from this file's side: a quarrel is a bounded state with its own different rules, not a permanent revision of the rules that apply once it ends. That reading is reinforced by how much of this file's material, entries 1, 2 and 13 especially, treats avoiding entry into a conflict as the wiser course, rather than treating conflict itself as something to be won.
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