Òwe on Marriage, Husbands and Wives
Sourced Yorùbá proverbs about courtship, the bond between husband and wife, and the frictions and duties of the polygynous marriage itself.
intermediatehigh·
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Sourced Yorùbá proverbs about courtship, the bond between husband and wife, and the frictions and duties of the polygynous marriage itself.
The Yorùbá wey dem quote, the proverbs, oríkì, ẹsẹ Ifá, word list headwords, Odù names and citations dey exactly as the corpus record dem, for every language.
Dis file gather Yorùbá proverbs about di marriage bond itself: courtship and di go-between wey dey arrange am, wetin husband and wife owe each other once dem don marry, and di special wahala of orogún, di co-wife relationship, inside polygamous household. File 10 for dis section don already cover di household wey bride marry enter and di duty to visit in-laws; dis file dey focus more on di two people, or di plenty wives, wey dey di center of di marriage instead of di compound wey dey around am.
Aya na wife, ọkọ na husband, and orogún na di co-wife relationship, wey be di bond wey dey face test pass for polygamous house. One pattern wey dey repeat below na say di proverbs dey ready to talk straight and open without sugar-coating about marriage pass as dem dey talk about family generally: plenty entries treat rivalry, inequality, and grievance like normal things wey dey happen inside marriage, no be say na failure of di institution.
None of di material below come from di specific book sections wey file 10 and 11 use (family, and children and parenthood), and none of dem repeat di marrying-out and marrying-in proverbs wey dem don publish before for file 10 entries 45 go reach 51, or di king-divorced-wife proverb wey dem don publish for file 18 entry 11. Marriage no get one single section for inside Oyekan Owomoyela im Yoruba Proverbs (University of Nebraska Press, 2005); di proverbs wey concern am scatter across di book, mostly inside "On humility," "On perspicaciousness," "On caginess," "On perseverance," "the fortunate person," "with the family," "within the community," "On human vulnerability," "On inequality," "On the right to human dignity," "On the right to patrimony and property," and "On just deserts"
Because di material scatter, di compiler use keyword search find candidate proverbs from full-text extraction of di printed book, come check every candidate against page image wey come directly from di book PDF at 200dpi and read am with eye. Dis second step dey very important: di particular digital copy of di book wey di compiler get get font-encoding defect inside im extracted text layer (di printed book embedded typeface use custom glyph composition for Yorùbá tone marks, wey plain text extraction no fit recover well, sometimes e dey lose accent and sometimes e dey lose full letter). To read di rendered page image bypass dat defect completely. Every Yorùbá text, English translation, and bracketed usage note below come directly from page image like dis, no be from di corrupted text extraction, so di tone marking below dey exactly as dem print am for Owomoyela 2005 edition, without any gap or guess .
Di literal line for each record na from di compiler of dis corpus, wey work from Owomoyela printed Yorùbá. Di used when line follow im own bracketed usage note, wey di printed book put instead of separate usage annotation, wey dey immediately after di translation.
Literal: Bí ayé bá mojú ọkọ when the-wife has-known the-face-of husband alárìnnà a yẹsẹ̀ the-go-between will withdraw-foot.
Idiomatic: When the wife has got to know the husband, the marriage broker makes way. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Once di intermediary don finish im work, e go comot body from di relationship wey e build.
Used when: Dem dey use am when person wey arrange or facilitate match, deal, or introduction suppose don step back make di people manage dia own matter .
Notes: Alárìnnà, di go-between, na real official role inside Yorùbá courtship, di person wey dey carry proposal and arrange introduction between families, and di proverb dey state di normal time wey di work suppose end instead of just to dey observe social politeness.
Literal: Oníyàwó ńgbéyàwó the-groom is-marrying his-bride Abídogun ńkó eèpè [a-name] is-carrying sand.
Idiomatic: The groom is welcoming his new bride; Abídogun is carrying sand. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: For dat exact moment wey one person dey enjoy life, another person nearby dey suffer for hard labor wey nobody dey appreciate.
Used when: Dem dey talk am when two different conditions dey happen side by side, one person dey celebrate while another person nearby dey do hard work .
Notes: Dem use wedding as sign of enjoyment specifically because e dey open to public and na celebration, wey make di difference clear well-well when you compare am with Abídogun unglamorous sand-carrying wey dem mention together inside di same breath.
Literal: Ọjọ́gèdé ò lẹ́wà the-poisonous-cassava has-no beauty lásán ló fara wéṣu it-is-for-nothing that-it resembles yam.
Idiomatic: The poisonous cassava has no attraction; it resembles a yam only in vain. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Just because something look like wetin person want for eye no mean say fake thing good reach di original.
Used when: Dem dey talk am about suitor, substitute, or imitation wey look like am for outside but no get substance .
Notes: Owomoyela usage note explain am directly say no imitation fit good reach di original thing ; dem include di proverb here because of how dem take dey use am assess suitors and matches, even though di meaning dey apply generally.
Literal: Aláṣejù the-excessive-one tí ńpọkọ ní baba who calls-husband father.
Idiomatic: Overzealous wife calls her husband "father." (Owomoyela)
Meaning: To carry respect pass wetin di relationship require dey turn respect to over-doing.
Used when: Dem dey talk am about wife wey di respect wey she dey show her husband don pass mark, and by extension about anybody wey dey overdo normal respect .
Notes: Owomoyela own explanation clear well well: the wife wey dey call her husband "baba" dey carry respect go beyond normal limit, and person no suppose do pass himself when e dey follow tradition . The proverb assume say normal respect dey wey wife owe husband, and na only the excess respect e mark as the fault.
Literal: Ojú kì í pọ́n ọkọ hardship does-not press a-husband kó má bá aya-a rẹ̀ sọ̀rọ̀ that-he not with his-wife speak.
Idiomatic: A husband can never be so bashful that he cannot speak to his wife. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: No matter how shy or quiet person nature be, e get some duties towards spouse wey person must still do anyway.
Used when: Dem dey talk am about husband wey dey run from conversation, confession, or duty wey e owe him wife sake of shyness or awkwardness, no be say any real obstacle dey .
Notes: Ojú pọ́n ni, wahala dey press person, na the same idiom wey this corpus mention for another place for when condition tight or person dey desperate, and the proverb belong to the same formula-family as the incest-prohibition proverb wey dem don publish for file 10, entry 35: the two of dem use ojú kì í pọ́n take frame category of things wey condition tight no fit excuse.
Literal: Bí ó bá ti ń ṣe iṣu how it fares with the-yam ọ̀bẹ̀ ló yé the-knife is-what knows-it bí ó bá ti ń ṣèyàwó how it fares with the-wife ọkọ-ọ rẹ̀ ló mọ̀ her-husband is-who knows-it bí ó ti ń ṣe mí how it fares with-me ẹ bi ọ̀ré-ẹ̀ mi ask my-friend.
Idiomatic: How the yam feels is known only to the knife; how the wife feels is known only to the husband; for how I feel, ask my friend. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Na person wey dey closest to person know wetin dey really happen to am, and the speaker claim that position for friend instead of family relation.
Used when: Dem dey talk am to show who get ground to talk about person real situation, to correct wetin person wey dey outside assume .
Notes: The proverb build chain of three parallel intimacies: knife and yam, husband and wife, friend and person own self, and e close on top friend, wey quietly rank chosen companionship alongside marriage as bond wey carry the same level of deep inside knowledge.
Literal: Bí obìnrin bá dí méjì when women become two imú ọkọ a di odó the-husband's nose becomes mortar a ní wọn ò tún yí imú lu ọun mọ́ she-says they no-longer turn nose toward her again.
Idiomatic: When women number two, the husband's nose becomes a mortar; she [the first wife] says that he no longer rolls his nose in her direction. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Person wey dem love pass before wey new favorite come take over him place no dey take that demotion with good heart.
Used when: Dem dey talk am about person, especially senior wife, wey dey vex say another new person don take over the attention wey e dey get before .
Notes: Owomoyela own explanation: person wey dem love pass before no dey ever take am well when new favorite replace am . To describe the husband attention like mortar, sometin wey heavy and no dey move once e land, make the first wife complaint say him nose "no dey turn again" become complaint about whole structure of attention wey don shift place, no be just ordinary small gesture wey e withhold.
Literal: Bí ayá bá gbọ́ tọkọ if a-wife heeds that-of-husband wàhálàá tán trouble is-finished.
Idiomatic: If a wife does the husband's bidding, all problems disappear. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Dem present wife obedience to her husband as the condition for peace to dey house.
Used when: Dem dey quote am, according to Owomoyela own note, to state say peace and joy for house depend on how the wife take agree with wetin husband want .
Notes: Owomoyela add one footnote to this entry wey simply talk say: "The sexism is not accidental" This corpus reproduce both the proverb and Owomoyela footnote as dem print am instead of to smoothen any of dem commot; the entry stand as direct evidence of norm wey no balance wey the source book itself highlight instead of to just agree with am without comment.
Literal: Bàbá laláàbò father is-protector ìyá lonírànwọ́ mother is-helper orogún nikú co-wife is-death.
Idiomatic: A father is a protector; a mother is a helper; a co-wife is death. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Inside the three close relations wey dem call, na only the co-wife dem describe as direct danger instead of support.
Used when: Owomoyela own explanation: two women wey dey marry the same husband na deadly enemies .
Notes: The three-part list format, wey build two good relations before e mention the bad third one, na common Yorùbá rhetorical structure, and the power wey e get here come from placing orogún inside the exact position wey reader go expect say another supportive figure suppose dey.
Literal: Obìnrin tí kòì lórogún a-woman who does-not-yet have-a-co-wife ò tíì màrùn tí ńṣèun has-not-yet known which disease she-has.
Idiomatic: A woman who does not yet have a co-wife does not yet know what disease she has. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Person real faults dey show only when rival dey wey position to expose dem.
Used when: Owomoyela own explanation: until person get enemies, e hardly know him own faults .
Notes: Àrùn, disease, na metaphor dem use am for for personal fault or weakness, and the proverb assume say the co-wife go actively bring that fault come light instead of to just live with am, and this one match the clear adversarial tone wey co-wife proverbs carry for this file.
Literal: Orogún kì í jogún a-co-wife does-not inherit orogún a-co-wife.
Idiomatic: Co-wives do not inherit from co-wives. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Two people wey wetin dem want really dey different suppose dey separate for how dem dey run things and for material things, even if e be like say dem dey share the same house.
Used when: How Owomoyela explain am: people wey get different interest suppose keep their interest separate .
Notes: Jogún, to inherit, literally mean to chop inheritance, the same verb wey this corpus mention for file 10; the way the proverb short, four words wey dey rotate on top one single root wey repeat, talk rule of property law for polygamous house at the same time e dey give general proverb about divided interest.
Literal: Bí a kò bá fi oògùn pa ọmọ ìyá ẹni if one has-not with medicine killed one's-mother's-child ọmọ bàbá ẹni kì í sá fúnni one's-father's-child does-not flee from-one.
Idiomatic: If one did not kill one's sibling by the same mother with poison, one's sibling by the same father does not flee. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Suspicion between half-siblings wey different co-wives born dey disappear once no real reason dey to fear am.
Used when: How Owomoyela explain am: if person no do anything wey go make dem do so, the person close relatives no go run leave am .
Notes: The proverb differentiate ọmọ ìyá, sibling wey get the same mama, from ọmọ bàbá, sibling wey only share the same papa, separation wey dey specifically because co-wives children dey grow up as siblings wey their closeness no equal inside one compound, and e take poison as the main example of bad thing wey fit justify separation between dem.
Literal: Bí orogún ìyá ẹni bá ju ìyá ẹni lọ if one's-mother's co-wife exceeds one's-mother ìyá là ńpè é mother is-what one-calls her.
Idiomatic: If one's mother's co-wife is older than one's mother, one calls her mother. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Seniority inside house must get respect title no matter the kind blood relation wey dey underneath am.
Used when: How Owomoyela explain am: person suppose give the same respect to all elders just as person go give to im own parents .
Notes: The proverb use the general Yorùbá rule of how to address person based on age inside the fraught co-wife relationship, and as e dey do so, e quietly bypass the rivalry wey the other entries for this section assume, wey show say seniority etiquette still dey work even inside relationship wey dem normally see as adversarial.
Literal: Bí nǹkán bá tán níle when things have finished at-home ọmọ ẹbọ a bọ́ síjọ́ the-acolyte drops into-dance àwọn tó wà níbẹ̀ a múra àti lọ those who are there prepare to leave.
Idiomatic: At the conclusion of a ceremony the acolyte commences to dance, and the onlookers prepare to make their exit. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Correct time dey to comot once ceremony or occasion don end, and to dey wait pass that time no make sense.
Used when: How Owomoyela explain am: person no suppose dey hang around after im business don finish .
Notes: Dem put am here because of how dem take dey use am, according to Owomoyela cross-reference, together with another proverb wey follow about knowing when to leave; wetin the item dey talk apply generally pass just marriage matter, but the compiler keep am because Owomoyela own arrangement pair am with courtesy-of-leaving material wey this file courtship entries also touch.
Literal: Orúkọ mẹ́ta là ńpèyàwó three names is-how-one calls-a-new-wife Ọlọ́rùn-lélé [she-of]-the-slender-neck Ọlá-yọ́kọ-sílẹ̀ [she-who]-sneaks-off-leaving-the-husband-behind Ọlá-bọ́kọ-lọ [she-who]-goes-with-her-husband.
Idiomatic: A new wife has three names: Ọlọ́rùnlélé [She of the slender neck]; Ọláyọ́kọsílẹ̀ [She who sneaks off, leaving the husband behind]; Ọlábọ́kọlọ [She who goes with her husband]. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Person no fit look wife appearance or im behavior when marriage just start take know how e go behave for future, whether e go faithful or not.
Used when: How Owomoyela explain am: person no fit predict wetin fine wife go do; e fit secretly waka go follow other men, but again, e fit still remain faithful to im husband .
Notes: The three names na descriptive title wey dem frame instead of real names wey dem dey give person, each one build like short sentence in the way of Yorùbá naming practice, and Owomoyela own bracketed explanation inside the idiomatic line na im clarification of wetin each compressed name dey talk. The style of mentioning three possible future for the same person, and refusing to talk which one be true, dey keep the proverb judgment open instead of to conclude am.
Literal: Ìyàwó la bá ṣùn the-wife is-who was made-love-to ọkọ ló lóyún the-husband is-who has-pregnancy.
Idiomatic: The wife was the one made love to, but it is the husband who got pregnant. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Person wey concern the matter small small dey make noise pass person wey the matter really affect directly.
Used when: How Owomoyela explain am: person wey matter concern directly no dey make noise reach person wey the matter concern only small small .
Notes: The picture na something wey dem purposely make absurd, since naturally na wife and no be husband fit carry belle, and the joke dey fully inside that impossibility: dem dey mock the husband outsized anxiety by making am the person wey supposedly dey carry the consequence.
Literal: Ìyàwó ò fohùn the-bride does-not use-voice ó fójú she uses-eye.
Idiomatic: The bride does not speak, and she is also blind. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Person wey just reach new house or company suppose keep quiet and just dey observe until e don learn how dem dey do things there.
Dem dey use am when: Wetin Owomoyela explain by himself: people wey just reach new place or join new group suppose shut their mouth and open their eye make dem fit learn di tradition before dem begin talk .
Notes: Di paradox say new bride dey both silent and blind dey work because di proverb mean say e dey pretend like say e no dey see and e no dey talk, e no dey drop comment or show judgment; di new wife wey just pack enter im husband compound na di main example Yorùbá wey tradition take generalize, wey dem discuss further for file 10 about marrying into household.
Literal: Obìnrin téérété yẹ ọkọ è níjọ́ ijó a-slender woman suits her-husband on-a-day of-dancing obìnrin gìdìgbá yẹ ọkọ è níjọ́ ẹbù a-hefty woman suits her-husband on-a-day of-yam-quartering bó bá ru ogórùn-ún ẹbù tán after-she has-carried a-hundred yam-pieces a kó kẹ́bé-kẹ́bé níwájú ọkọ she walks-smartly ahead-of husband.
Idiomatic: A slender woman is the joy of her husband on a day of dancing, but a hefty woman is her husband's joy on the day of yams quartered for planting; after she has toted a hundred yam pieces, she walks smartly [toward the farm] ahead of her husband. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Wetin make wife get value dey change depending on di occasion, and di power to do physical labor get value just as fine face get.
Dem dey use am when: Wetin Owomoyela explain by himself: no be only fine face dey make good wife .
Notes: Di proverb deliberately pair two opposite body shape of woman against two different kind of day, dancing against farm work, and e refuse to rank one type of wife pass di other; instead e make value depend on di context; di bracket wey carry "toward the farm" na Owomoyela own addition to make things clear.
Literal: Obìnrin tí yó fẹ́ẹ́ alágbára a-woman who will marry a-powerful-man ọkàn kan ní ḿmú one heart is-what she-holds.
Idiomatic: A woman who would marry a formidable man must have an unwavering mind. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: To choose to marry pesin wey difficult or formidable need determination wey don settle, no be just ordinary attraction.
Dem dey use am when: Wetin Owomoyela explain by himself: once pesin don decide on top important matter, make e stand strong on top am .
Notes: Di proverb treat marriage to difficult husband like decision wey need di same kind of strong mind as any other serious commitment, and e put marital choice inside di bigger collection of proverbs about determination instead of treating am as separate area of feeling.
Literal: Obìnrin bẹẹrẹ wives innumerable òṣì bẹẹrẹ problems innumerable.
Idiomatic: Innumerable wives, innumerable problems. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: To marry more wives dey multiply wahala directly.
Dem dey use am when: Wetin Owomoyela explain by himself: pesin wey add wives join wives don add problem join problem .
Notes: All di power of di proverb dey for di rhyme and repetition, bẹẹrẹ wey dem use twice against di paired nouns obìnrin and òṣì, kind structure wey English fit only flatten make e turn ordinary equation. E stand as di most direct one-line judgment on polygyny inside this file, wey dem talk without di soft-soft conditions wey several other entries carry here.
Literal: Ẹní gbani láya whoever takes-from-one one's-wife ò ní kírú ẹni má rà has-no-power-to-stop one's locust-bean-seeds from-fermenting.
Idiomatic: The person who takes one's wife cannot stop one's locust-bean seeds from fermenting. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Injury wey dem do pesin, even if na to lose wife, no get power to stop di pesin from pursuing im own affairs and destiny on im own.
Dem dey use am when: Wetin Owomoyela explain by himself: pesin wey injure you no fit stop you make you no pursue your destiny .
Notes: Owomoyela footnote explain di house logic behind di image: irú na fermented condiment wey dem dey make from locust-bean seed, wey normally na wife work to prepare, and wetin di proverb dey talk na say di husband wey dem offend still fit ferment im own irú and cook im own soup even without wife to do am for am . Di proverb take real house vulnerability, wey be say pesin depend on im wife work, turn am to di exact example wey e take deny say dat kind dependence get any final power over pesin.
Literal: Ọgbọ́n ní ńpé kó tó ran ẹni wisdom takes-long before it rubs-off-on one wèrè kì í gbèé ran ẹèyàn foolishness does-not take-long to rub-off-on people wèrè Ìbàdàn ló ran ará Ògbómọ̀ṣọ́ the-foolishness-of Ìbàdàn is-what rubbed-off-on the-people-of Ògbómọ̀ṣọ́.
Idiomatic: Only wisdom takes a long time to rub off on others; imbecility does not take long to affect others; it is the imbecility plaguing Ibadan people that rubbed off on the people of Ògbómọ̀ṣọ́. (Owomoyela, footnoted)
Meaning: Bad influence dey spread among close friends far faster pass good influence.
Dem dey use am when: Wetin Owomoyela explain by himself: if you dey follow pesin waka, sooner or later you go catch di pesin bad habit .
Notes: Owomoyela footnote give di geographic logic: Ògbómọ̀ṣọ́ na town near Ibadan, wey close to am well well for culture and history, na wetin make dem fit blame one town fault on top say e dey close to di other . Immediately after this entry for di source, separated only with semicolon continuation, Owomoyela print another related item about suitor wey dey wish say e know di character of wife wey e wan marry before e marry am, "had I known": situation wey dey pain like regret after everything don happen, wey dem bring out as di general case wey this proverb about contagious bad influence suppose explain.
Literal: Ṣátánì ló mú àtòsí ààfáà wá Satan is-who brought gonorrhea-of the-imam ẹléhàá kì í jáde the-wife-confined-in-harem does-not go-out ààfáà kì í yànlè the-imam does-not keep-an-illicit-lover.
Idiomatic: Satan is to blame for the imam's gonorrhea; the wife confined in the harem does not venture outdoors, and the imam does not keep an illicit lover. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Wen e no dey possible say na any of di couple cause scandal, dem dey push di blame go put for outside person bodi instead make dem leave am without explanation.
Used when: Dem dey talk am, often without smile, about explanation wey person just bring out only because dem dey protect di main people from suspicion .
Notes: Ẹléhàá, di wife wey dem keep inside house, dey refer to real custom where dem dey seclude some married women, and di logic of di proverb depend on say dat seclusion tight well-well to rule out say any of dem do infidelity, wey come make am necessary to blame devil.
Literal: Ẹni tó gba ọmọ ẹni whoever takes one's-daughter ò ní òun ò níí gba aya does-not say he will-not take wife.
Idiomatic: The person who makes off with one's daughter will think nothing of making off with one's wife. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Person wey no already respect one family bond no go respect another one.
Used when: Dem dey talk am about enemy wey don show say im wicked before, so people suppose expect say im go cross line again .
Notes: Di proverb put pikin girl and wife as parallel target of di same kind violation, wey be point about how people dey see di offense, no be say di two relationship be di same in other ways.
Literal: Ọjọ́-ó pa alágundi rain caught the-agundi-seller iyán domi pounded-yam became-water ìyàwó ńretí agundi the-wife is-waiting-for agundi ọkọ sùn sóko the-husband slept at-the-farm.
Idiomatic: The agundi purveyor is caught in the rain, and the pounded yam becomes like water; the wife awaits agundi, but the husband spends the night on the farm. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Bad condition fit scatter di best plan wey house people make, wey go leave one partner dey wait for wetin di other person no fit give.
Used when: Dem dey talk am about plan, whether for house or outside, wey outside problem scatter wey neither of dem fit control .
Notes: Agundi na soft corn pudding, normal everyday food no be special delicacy, and na im make di failure dey simple and exactly di kind small disappointment wey marriage dey take every time; na condition explain why di husband no dey, no be say im neglect di wife, and dis one keep di proverb for level of misfortune instead of blame.
Literal: Ọ̀ṣọ́ ilé adornment confined-to-home ò jọ obìnrin lójú does-not appeal to-a-woman in-the-eye.
Idiomatic: Preening that is confined to the home does not appeal to a woman. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: To show person fine look no dey sweet unless na place where other people go fit see am.
Used when: Owomoyela own explanation: women always dey like go outside house so dat dem go fit advertise dia beauty .
Notes: Di proverb just assume di point instead of to argue am, as e present desire to make people see dem as simply how women be, wey place am among di sweeping and direct generalizations about women for dis file, alongside di sexism wey dem flag for entry 8.
Literal: A kì í ṣúpó one does-not inherit-the-wife-of aláàyè a-living-person.
Idiomatic: One does not inherit the wife of a living man. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: To inherit widow, wey be tradition wey people know, only dey work once di first husband don die true-true.
Used when: Dem dey quote am against person wey dey try claim right or property wen di owner still dey alive to hold am .
Notes: Ṣúpó, di verb wey dey inside di proverb, specifically dey point to di custom where family member dey marry im brother widow wey die, so di proverb no be general statement about property but na clear boundary rule on top one particular institution, wey dem extend here to any early claim on wetin still belong to another person.
Literal: Aya ọlẹ̀ wife of-a-lazy-person là ńgbà is-what one-may take a kì í gbọmọ ọlẹ̀ one does-not take child of-a-lazy-person.
Idiomatic: It is a lazy person's wife that one may take; one may not take a lazy person's child. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Even person wey get serious fault still get right over some things, and wetin spouse fit endure make dem collect from am get limit.
Used when: Dem dey quote am to argue say some rights still dey survive even if person dey generally useless, while other rights no go remain .
Notes: Owomoyela cross-reference another companion entry wey make related point about di residual rights of lazy people . Di proverb draw im line for place wey person no expect, as e treat wife say e dey available in a way wey child no dey, wetin dey talk about how dem classify di two relationships against each other as much as e dey talk about laziness.
Literal: Ẹni tó gba ọ̀nà ẹ̀bùrú wá ta ojì a-man who took the-back-path came to-confront his-cuckolder wọ́n ní a kì í gba ọ̀nà ẹ̀bùrú wá ta ojì they said one-does-not take the-back-path to-confront one's-cuckolder ó ní ṣé a lè gba ọ̀nà ojúlé he asked whether one may take the-front-path wọ́n ní bẹ́ẹ̀ ni they said yes-indeed.
Idiomatic: A man who came on the sly to confront his cuckolder was told one does not confront one's cuckolder on the sly; he asked if one could do so frontally and was told, yes. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Complaint wey make sense suppose come out open-open and direct, no be to pass corner-corner bring am enter.
Wen dem dey use am: Dem dey talk am give pesin wey get genuine complaint but wey dey do hide-hide unnecessarily to bring am out .
Notes: Di proverb set up small conversation and make di correction do di argument, style wey dis collection note for oda place say na normal feature for di genre; dem treat di husband wey dem do bad to complain as completely legitimate, and di only fault wey dem find na how e take dey pursue am.
Literal: Bí ìyàwó bá ṣojú ẹni if a-wife honors-one's-wishes in-one's-presence tó tún ṣẹ̀hìn ẹni and-also honors-one's-wishes behind-one ó ní láti ní èrè she must have reward tí yó jẹ níbẹ̀ that she-will-enjoy there.
Idiomatic: If a wife honors one's wishes in one's presence and also honors one's wishes in one's absence, some reward is certainly due her. (Owomoyela)
Meaning: Loyalty wey stand even wen nobody dey look dey value pass loyalty wey pesin just dey act for people eye, and dem suppose reward am as e take dey.
Wen dem dey use am: Dem dey talk am to praise husband or wife, or anybody, wey im beta character no depend on weda pesin dey look am .
Notes: Di proverb balance direct against entry 15 judgment wey dem suspend about weda new wife go remain faithful for future: where dat entry refuse to predict, dis one state clearly wetin suppose follow once dem settle di mata in favor of di wife, reward instead of ordinary relief.
Three observation wey concern dis particular theme.
Dis collection get far less sentiment about marriage pass as e get for family generally. File 10 treat di household as legal pesin wey people owe loyalty and defense; di proverbs wey dey inside here dey far more ready to mention marriage friction directly; entries 9, 10 and 20 state co-wife rivalry, mutual injury and wahala wey dey multiply as plain facts instead of deviation wey pesin need to correct, and Owomoyela own footnote on entry 8, wey call im sexism something wey no be mistake, show say di compiler himself dey point out instead of to smooth out asymmetrical norm wey dey inside di source.
Woman judgment and resolve get real acknowledgment, even though e narrow small. Entries 18 and 19 both give credit to wife for capacity wey pass mere appearance, physical usefulness for one case, and deliberate steadiness of mind for di oda case, wey stand alongside di entries wey dey more skeptical, especially 15, wey refuse to predict weda wife go faithful at all. Wen pesin read dem together, di file no land for either romantic or cynical position on marriage; e hold di two at di same time, wetin dis collection oda files on Yorùbá proverb material note say na di normal condition of di genre instead of inconsistency wey need correction.
Dem dey handle fault for marriage through proper procedure just as dem dey handle am morally. Entries 23 and 29 both concern di correct way to handle wetin dem suspect say na wrong, scandal wey pesin no fit explain for one case and confirmed cuckolding for di oda case, and none of dem ask weda di pesin wey dem do bad get right to vex; di question for di two na weda dem dey pursue di grievance for proper manner. Entry 30 close di file on di same procedural note, as e treat loyalty wey stand wen nobody dey look as distinct and better-evidenced case pass loyalty wey pesin just perform for eye, and e specify say e earn reward instead of ordinary absence of complaint.
Sourced Yorùbá proverbs about the household, the lineage, the father's house and the obligations that follow from being born into a particular family.
Sourced Yorùbá proverbs on what friendship actually obliges, how far trust can safely go, and what betrayal by an intimate looks like.
Sourced Yorùbá proverbs on bearing and raising children, the duties of parents, the training of the young, and what passes from one generation to the next.
Sourced Yorùbá proverbs about labour, the farm and the discipline of effort, presented with the original, a literal gloss, a named translation, and the situation each is spoken in.
Twenty-four Yorùbá proverbs on oko (the farm) and igbó (the bush or forest), showing farm labour as the measure of a person's worth and the bush as the domain proper to animals and to danger.
Fifty-eight Yorùbá proverbs on character, presented with the original, a literal gloss, a named translation, and the situation each is spoken in.